I am trapped in the Bermuda Triangle, on too small a sailboat, with a dumb crew member that ate the last CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKE. The rest of the crew has disappeared... I don't know what happened, but I hear strange sounds coming from the water at night... They don't sound like seagulls. I am starting to have existential angst. It's late afternoon and I'm starting to need a snack. Too bad there's no more pancakes. I grab a Dr.Pepper from the last 6 pack on board. I am really nervous and decide to go to sleep. When I wake up the dumb crew member has disappeared too. I have to admit I'm kind of glad. I am starving so I grab another Dr.Pepper and search the boat for food. Finally, I find a half -eaten pizza. Then, out of the blue come a pack of kittens with red eyes. I scream as they attack my face. How could this get worse? I'm starting to hear the voice of my favorite radio show host. He is screaming in a fake exited voice about a radio call in contest. "This is crazy!", I shout and he says "I know it is, you can even win a sleeve of stale saltine crackers!" The kittens are still on my face and I'm communicating telepathically. Suddenly a red and white figure appears and the kittens disappear. The figure apparently has magic powers because then it picks me up and asks what I want for Christmas. I try to escape from it's strong grip and fail. It makes some weird sounds similar to the ones I would hear every night and then slowly sinks underwater, still keeping it's grip on me.